Here to brag about my immense knowledge
I’ve been reading Influence: the psychology of persuasion. Or rather I’ve been listening to it.
It’s a good book, one you should read if you want to understand more about humans and how to get the results you want from others.
The book is about the 7 principles of persuasion, and I’ve been pondering on one of these principles ever since.
It’s one I’ve experienced a lot of times in my life. It’s one that’s used within and outside our vicinity.
It’s called the Principle Of Reciprocity.
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How do you feel, when someone does you an unsolicited favor?
Do you think that’s just how life is?
Or do you feel indebted, somehow wondering how you can be of help to them?
Perhaps they didn’t do it for your indebtedness, but whatever they ask of you after that favor is most likely going to be granted.
If you have a sibling who easily runs errands for you, chances are they are the ones you’d do the most favor for.
Whatever they ask of you is granted, because you have this feeling of indebtedness to them. You want to repay their kindness.
This strategy is used deliberately on motor parks.
Imagine this scenario:
You are getting close to the park with luggage that is already weighing you down.
One of the bus conductors or loaders sees you, runs to you and offers to assist you carry your load.
Once you grant that offer, there’s a high chance that the bus you’d be traveling with will be theirs.
To avoid this pressure, people often reject the loader’s offer to help them lighten their load.
Aproko Doctor made a tweet a few days ago…
“If you want to get gifts, give first, that’s just how life is”.
People had contrary opinions.
Gifts are not things you give while expecting something in return bla bla bla.
While that is valid, the easiest way to get a favor is to first grant a favor.
If you want to be loved, you have to first give love.
You don’t have to expect love in return, but it is human nature to want to pay back.
That is why you help an aged woman and she offers you food in return, or offers to link you to their son/daughter.
They know you’re not doing it for the food, but they still want to give back.
It’s a new week, and you will be expecting a lot from your co-workers or fellow students.
Start by giving.
If you want a hug, offer to give one.
If you want someone to ask how you are, ask someone.
If you want your teammates to be devoted to your project, show devotion first.
Smile first. Greet first.
Do your own part, and let the principle of reciprocity get you your heart’s desires.
Also…
If you don’t want to be manipulated into doing anything you don’t want to do, learn to say NO and stand by it.
Our parents always told us to reject favors from strangers. That’s because once they have granted you a favor, even if it’s against your better judgment, you would want to grant them a favor too.
They didn’t know the fancy word it’s called, but they sure know how it works.
Can you think of one way the principle of reciprocity has affected your decisions or actions?
Reply this mail or click the comment button and share with me.
I’ll love to hear from you, but till then…
SHINE ✨
I’m Bridget
PS: Women Techsters Fellowship classes are starting officially today. Wish me luck as I begin my product design journey.